评《物色》

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本书是描写职场恋情哒！好哒，以下展开探讨！
【The Way We Work】?
我们的工作方式
————关于职场恋情
How do we manage the boundaries between our personal and professional lives? How do we deal with gender imbalances and power dynamics in the workplace? There's a lot of gray area in workplace romance. I'd like to take a few minutes and answer some of your frequently asked questions.?
我们如何管理我们的 个人和职业生活的界限？ 我们如何处理职场中 的性别失衡和权力动态？ 职场恋情有很多灰色地带。 我想花几分钟 回答你们经常问到的问题。?
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So, question one: Should I date my coworker? Uh ... it depends. Do you want to date your coworker for a bit of fun? Do you want to date your coworker to hook up? Because then you're really better off on Tinder. If you want to date your coworker because you really, sincerely think you're falling in love with them or there's a real potential for a long-term, committed relationship, maybe you should date your coworker. Studies show that your coworkers are generally positive about it if they perceive that you're falling in love and genuinely care about each other. It's when your coworkers sense that something else is in play -- that can be disruptive.?
所以，问题1：我应该和同事约会吗？ 呃…这得看情况。 你和同事约会是想找乐子吗？ 你和同事约会是为了勾搭吗？ 因为那样的话你在Tinder上的效果会更好。 如果你想和同事约会 是因为你真是，真诚地认为你堕入爱河了， 或者有发展一段真正的， 长期的，承诺的感情潜力， 也许你应该和你的同事约会。 研究表明，你的同事通常对此非常积极， 如果他们感到你陷入爱河 并真正关心彼此。 当你的同事意识到有其他因素时—— 这可能是破坏性的。
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Question two: Should I date my boss? In almost all cases, no, you should not date your boss, because now, you've got a power dynamic. When there's a relationship between a boss and a subordinate, it generates a lot of negative feelings, and the negative feelings tend to fall on the person who's lower on the totem pole. People usually assume some kind of favoritism, some kind of inside knowledge, and there can be resentment stirred up by that. There was a study published last year that suggested dating a superior can even have a negative impact on your career. The researchers asked third-party evaluators online to imagine that they worked at a law firm. They asked them to make recommendations on which employee should get picked for a special training program and which should get promoted to partner. They looked at credentials for imaginary employees, and when it was stated that an employee had been dating or was in a relationship with a superior, the evaluators were less likely to pick that person for the training program or the promotion, even if they had the exact same credentials as someone who wasn't dating their boss. The evaluators were also quick to dismiss their accomplishments.?
问题2： 我应该和老板约会吗？ 在几乎所有的场合，不要， 你不应该和你老板约会， 因为现在，你会面临一场权力动态。 当老板和下属有关系的时候， 它会产生很多负面情绪， 负面情绪倾向于落在 地位较低的人身上。 人们通常会认为存在偏袒， 内部知识， 这可能会激起怨恨。 去年发布的研究显示 和高层约会甚至会对你的 职业生涯造成负面影响。 研究人员在线询问第三方评估者 去想象一下他们在律师事务所工作。 他们让他们推荐哪个员工应该挑选来 参加特殊培训项目 以及哪个员工应该晋升为合伙人。 他们研究了虚构员工的证书， 当被告知有员工与更高层正在约会 或者有过一段感情经历时， 评估者更不可能挑选这个人参与培训项目 或者晋升， 即便她们拥有和那些 没有和老板约会的人同样的资历。 评估者很快否定了她们的成就。?
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Question three: Can I date someone who reports to me? Still a big no. You may not feel like you're really the boss, right? But you are, and there's a power dynamic there that's simply not there for other couples. If you really believe there is a sincere, honestly felt, personal connection that would be lasting and meaningful, one of you may need to move, and it shouldn't always be the person who's lower in the company pecking order.?
问题3： 我可以和向我汇报的人约会吗？ 仍然不能。 你可能会感到你不是真正的老板，对吧？ 但你是老板，这里存在权力动态， 这是其他夫妻所没有的。 如果你真的相信这是个真诚的、发自内心的、 有意义的人际关系， 你们其中有个人需要换地方， 而且也不应该总是公司里 地位较低的人说了算。?
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Question four: I've just started seeing a coworker. How do we handle things? I get this question a lot. "Are they dating? Are they not dating?" Don't keep it a secret. You don't have to make a big deal of it, but secrecy tends to be corrosive. People tend to see workplace couples as a coalition or a unit, so try to make it clear to your coworkers that you're not the same person; you love each other, but you are going to disagree.?
问题4： 我刚刚开始和一个同事约会。 我们应该如何处理这些事情？ 我常常被问这个问题。 “他们在约会吗？他们没有约会？” 不要保密。 你不必大惊小怪，但保密往往是有害的。 人们往往把职场夫妻视为 一个联盟或一个团体， 所以试着让你的同事明白 你不是那样的人； 你们彼此相爱，但你们会有分歧。?
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Question five: Why are coworkers often attracted to each other? Well, the obvious answer is people tend to be attracted to each other the more time they spend together. But there's another ingredient that has to be added: attraction tends to happen when there's work that demands close collaboration. So imagine you have a big group project with a tight deadline and you're working late nights and brainstorming ideas. You look up, and across the table, one of your colleagues throws out a really great idea. You may feel something, and that's natural. We call this task interdependence. It's a ripe ground for attraction. The second reason why people at work are attracted to each other is they may often be similar to each other. There's two old adages: "Birds of a feather flock together." And "Opposites attract." Well, the psychological research suggests ... birds of a feather flock together, and we like people who are like us.?
问题5： 为什么同事之间经常相互吸引？ 一个明显的答案是 通常人们接触的时间越久 越容易相互吸引。 但还有另一种成分需要加入： 当工作需要密切合作时， 吸引力就会产生。 所以去想象你有一个大 团队项目，时间很紧， 你工作到深夜还在头脑风暴。 你抬起头，隔着桌子， 其中一个同事抛出了个很棒的点子。 你可能会有所感觉，这很正常。 我们称之为相互依存。 这是吸引力的成熟土壤。 人们在工作中相互吸引的第二个原因是 他们往往彼此相似。 有两个古老的谚语： “物以类聚，人以群分” 和“异性相吸。” 心理学研究表明… 物以类聚， 我们喜欢和我们一样的人。
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Question six: My coworkers are flirting. I'm annoyed. What do I do? Some researchers argue that for people flirting at work, flirting is good and it boosts creativity. But my own research suggests things are different for people who are watching or who are subjected to the flirting. It can be awkward, right? Witnessing flirtation in the workplace creates a sense of not knowing the rules, not knowing what's going on, or maybe seeing something that you shouldn't be seeing. People who frequently witness flirting at work -- they actually report feeling less satisfied in their jobs, and they feel less valued by their company. They're more likely to give a negative appraisal of the work environment, and they may even consider leaving. For women, this association can be even stronger. This appears to be the case even when people report not being bothered by the flirting. It's true even when they say they enjoy it. So, a flirtatious environment really could be toxic.?
问题6： 我的同事在调情。 我很烦，我应该怎么做？ 一些研究人员认为，对 在工作中调情的人来说， 调情是件好事，它能提高创造力。 但我自己的研究表明， 对正在观看或被调情的人 来说，情况有所不同。 可能会很尴尬，对吧？ 目睹职场上的调情 会让人产生不懂规矩， 不知道发生什么的感觉， 或者看到一些你不该看到的东西。 更常在工作中看到职场调情的人—— 他们其实报告对工作的满意度更低， 他们觉得公司对他们的重视程度更低。 他们更可能对工作环境作出负面评价， 并且他们甚至可能考虑离职。 对于女性而言，这种联系会更加强烈。 即使人们说 他们不介意调情，情况似乎也是如此。 这是真的，即使他们说他们喜欢它。 所以，轻浮的环境真的有害。
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Question seven: Do I need a policy on workplace relationships? You certainly need a policy on a sexual harassment, and I think most HR departments recognize that. But for the kind of consensual behavior we've been talking about, it's a little different. As much as people in HR would love to wave a magic wand and say, "Thou shall not fall in love at work," it's just not realistic. Emotional connection and sexuality is who we are. I kind of want you to flip the script a little bit. I encourage HR to really think more broadly about their role in not necessarily stamping out office romance, because I don't think that's realistic, but how do I help create a workplace climate and culture where people feel respected for their individual contributions, not for their appearance or their gender, or their personal relationships? So the larger question is, how do you make sure people are valued and respected??
问题7： 我们需要职场关系方面的政策吗？ 你当然需要关于性骚扰的政策， 我认为很多HR部门都认识到这一点。 但是对于我们一直在讨论的 两厢情愿的行为， 这有点不同。 HR部门的人都想挥舞一根魔杖说 “不能有办公室恋情” 这不够现实。 情感联系和性造就了我们。 我想让你们把这个脚本稍微翻一下。 我鼓励HR从更广泛的角度考虑 他们在办公室恋情中所扮演的角色， 因为我认为这是不现实的， 但我如何帮助营造 一种工作氛围和文化， 让人们因个人贡献而感到受尊重， 而非外表和性别， 或者他们的私人关系呢？ 所以更大的问题其实是， 你如何确保人们被重视和尊重？?