评《硬核快穿》

#天道爸爸的茶话会#
@教书育人（青春校园）世界天道爸爸（唱）：
Ever since I was a girl my own mother vowed
从我刚诞生起，我的前辈就告诉我
I must find the way to power through a noble brow
我可能会遇见一个红绿拼盘的“小”麻烦
I married once for love then my senses came
他得到了一个走投无路的高中班主任的身份，突然他意识到
I must marry for the stature of my husband's name
作为老师他还得对付一班的“问题学生”
Onto marrige number two
故事的第二章
I knew what I had to do
他就坑掉了那个迫害“他”的赌场
and my poor husband fell ill in a year or two
以及凭借着别样的厚脸皮住进了学生的家里
solved problem number one,now to problenm number two
他解决了第一个问题，是时候看他解决第二个了
His deo-eyed littlle girl with gentle point of biew
高三（13）班的问题学生们还等着他面对
Would I ship her off to school?
他们会乖乖上学吗？
No!I toud her if she stayed that she'd have to earn her keep
他做到了！那个叫谭昭的小子一点一点把这些学生带起来了。
and so she became the maid!
我本来是不在意他们怎么折腾
She was lazy!
他教育熊孩子
She was Crazy!
他酿酒
She was talking to the mice!
他的学生改变了世界进程？！！！
She was hopelessly naive,so she had to pay the price.
然后我决定给他奖励（功德），结果我发现我的内存容不下他。
I moved her to the attic out of sight and out of mind.
于是他和他的系统搬去了一个不知名的世界（幸灾乐祸jpg）
@生物制药（狗血玛丽苏）世界天道爸爸（唱）：
I coud have thrown her out,but I'm benevolent and kind.
我在混娱乐圈的亲儿子身边发现了一个奇怪的小子，但是我没有多注意他。
@众读者（齐声唱）：
Mother,your heart's too big for you!
爸爸，你心真大！
@生物制药（狗血玛丽苏）天道爸爸（唱）：
I knew what I had to do
我看见他研究出了味道奇异的抗秃药
After all,difficult children will take advantage of your good nature.
这没什么，毕竟人类那么多总是会出现几个奇葩
So you lock them up
所以我把他放在一边
Throw away the key!
不管他“混圈”、研究和酿酒
There's one on every family tree
结果他搞出来一个抗癌药
Ungrateful!
改了我的剧本！
Hateful!
拐带我的主角！
Vile too!The things she put you through!
哦，是的！泥石流送走了他！
@末世文世界小天道（啾咪一下，唱）：
Break their spirit so they obey!
我有意识的时候发现我hold不住这个世界！
Now they'll do anything you say
于是我乖乖的看着单身老父亲（谭某）拼杀
Maybe you'd call it cruel but
于是我接手了家产赶他出门
others would call it love
我将这称为爱
Tough Love!
亲鹅子的爱！
@武侠世界天道爸爸（唱）：
I ask you,is it a crime to strive for perfection in all things?
我问你，如果一个外来人口识图拐带你的亲儿子时你会干什么？
Oh,no,they're so cute when they're little but then they grow up and just…
哦，不，他还让我的世界弯了一点弧度
ruin everything!
我借着他酿酒的机会狠狠地拿雷劈他！
I never wanted children
我从没放弃赶他出去
life was better on my own
我数十年如一日用天雷教训他
all the screaming,nagging chilled me to the bone!
所有的日子都没有把他扫地出门的那一天舒心
暂时就到这里了，我要去看其他大大的文了，瞎玩梗，英文留着是因为我懒得删。